What is the leading story out of the Bengals camp this past week? The excitement around Rookie Phenom Joe Burrow? The rumors that AJ Green is fit and ready to play this week after being out all of last year? That the 5 random guys the Bengals hired from the local Carpenters Union are now officially their starting O-Line? None of the above. It is the fact that Giovani Bernard debuted this beautiful mustache:
Have we spent enough time discussing the possibility of Giovani Bernard finishing as the top running back in fantasy football this season? pic.twitter.com/fdUfHuqAT3
— Field Yates (@FieldYates) September 9, 2020
So that got me thinking, what are the 16 most iconic mustaches in Sports History?*
*Editor’s note: Giovani Bernard was not included on this list due to being a new arrival. Like any great film or movie, you don’t declare it to be the best ever after just seeing it. It should be the same with mustaches. Give it time to grow and age. Also athletes with beards as well as mustaches were not included on this list. The criteria was only a mustache and no beard, so that is why James Harden isn’t on here.
I spent weeks researching to come up with these results:
Antonio Brown’s Blonde Stache
Jobba Chamberlain’s Dirt Stache
The Top 16
16) Patrick Ewing
textbook stache from the Hoya Destroya
15) Mike Ditka
13) Dale Earnhardt Sr
12) LeBron James
11) Dennis Eckersley
The Tim Duncan of mustaches. Big Fundamental
10) Lanny McDonald
Proving that Gingers can do it too!
9) Jason Giambi
Steroids does a mustache good.
8) Gardner Minshew
Wanted to move this one a little higher, but Gardner’s stache is still new on the scene. Look for him to jump up the rankings if he can keep at this pace in the coming years.
7) Mike Evans (Iowa Wrestling)
This Mike Evans paved the way for the current Mike Evans on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to play with Tom Brady.
6) Joel Quenneville
Canada stand the fuck up
5) Michael Irvin
I fucking hate the Cowboys, but can’t deny Michael Irvin’s great mustache.
4) Wilt Chamberlain
Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the 100 point game for Wilt is that scoring 100 points overshadowed a great mustache.
3) Don Frye
I can’t picture Don Frye without a mustache at this point. The best part is that he sounds exactly how he looks.
2) Mike Beltran (MMA Ref)
Don’t think I need to explain this one. Here he is turning his stache into a covid mask.
1) Rollie Fingers
The rest of the list was hard to decide on, but #1 was a no brainer. When you think of mustaches in sports you think of Rollie Fingers. The older generations will remember Rollie for his great pitching, but the youth of America will know him only for one thing… that mustache.
Also check out my new list of the Ten Greatest Mullets in Sports History!