The Troubling Case of Darrelle Revis

by Jeb Kush

In other news one of the best cornerbacks in NFL history is probably going to jail, and it is not for his receding hairline:

What he IS probably going to jail for is knocking two guys out. According to the police report basically what happened was an adult male was filming Darrelle Revis with his phone while he was walking on the sidewalk late at night. Revis got angry that the man was filming him and asked him to stop recording. The man did not stop recording so Revis took his phone out of his hands and threw it into the street. As you might guess, this did not sit well with the other gentlemen and an argument ensued and Revis ends up clocking him in the face and knocking him out cold. At this time, according to the report, another man started an argument with Revis and he too was knocked out by the Jets cornerback.

A video from the incident has surfaced showing two unconscious adult males laying down the street while an unidentified man screams that he “knocked both them motherf***ers out!”. Revis’ lawyers are saying the voice does not belong to Revis. Although, that argument is hard to believe considering he was the only one charged with assault in the incident.

   So what’s next for Revis? If he is found guilty of aggravated assault and manages to avoid jail time then he will almost certainly be suspended by the NFL; however he is likely to play again considering the NFL has let some real scumbags to continue playing (see Greg Hardy). The Jets will almost certainly let Revis walk and save the 6 million dollars he is guaranteed next season considering he is getting paid like the top cornerback he used to be instead of the piece of burnt toast he turns into every time he lines up against a receiver with speed. Granted, Revis has been talking about moving to safety for a while now, and that is a role that some good cornerbacks can flourish in late in their career, as evidenced by the likes of Charles Woodson. Revis has never been known for his tackling abilities or his ability to fend off blockers,

making it difficult for me to envision the Charles Woodson-esque ending to his career that he seems to envision for himself. The market for either an aging cornerback devoid of speed, or an aging safety devoid of speed, tackling ability, and block shedding ability are both likely to dry up pretty quickly. Those markets are likely to dry up even more quickly for convicted felons, if Revis is indeed found guilty.

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